25 September 2007

Ancient methods of the plumbologists

It is said, whispered really, in the great halls of plumbers, that the ancient practitioners of plumbology had a great and closely guarded secret. It is not discussed openly. Very few will actually admit to believing in the tales. Somewhat like UFO's. Many want to believe, but few will actually admit to believing. It is currently rumored that some scholars of plumbology have stumbled upon something that borders on the miraculous.

After spending centuries chasing the secrets, and spending untold billions of dollars traversing the globe, it is said that a small, but powerful group of elite plumbologists have happened upon ancient writings which reveal the grand secret. That is the secret of hot water. No, not just water heaters, or just heating regular water, but of actually creating hot water from nothing. Just out of thin air so to speak.

This is my belief. I can't help it. I have tried for months to figure out another explanation, but, believe it or not, this one seems most plausible. Let me explain:

Back in February "Bertha", the water boiler at the downtown YMCA was replaced. She was old and tired and had seen her best days long, long pass. It was time to put her out to pasture. But now, this new hot water system boggles the mind and, quite possibly breaks several laws of physics...or psychics...or something like that.

This is what happens; one enters the shower area and turns the shower on to hot water. As expected, a short time elapses and hot water comes pouring from the shower-head. Then a second person enters the show area and turns his shower on to hot water. The first person, having spent more than 4 decades in learning the proper mannerisms of hot water behavior, tenses, ready for his show to get colder as person 2's water gets warmer.

That is where the magic comes into play. It has to be magic, because I can find no other logical explanation; and as Sherlock Holmes once said "We must fall back upon the old axiom that when all other contingencies fail, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth." The magic is that the when person 2 turns on his hot water, the water for person 1, instead of getting colder, actually get hotter! Amazing! I know, I know, I can hardly imagine it myself, but that is what happens, as true as I'm sitting here typing this out.

How else can this be explained? Water gets hotter the more of it is required? And colder when less hot water is required? It is so backwards. I'm certain that the physics police, or the quantum militia are, even right now, as I type this, hot on the trail of those brave, intrepid plumbologists who have not only discovered, but have had the gumption to actually use this ancient and forbidden wisdom.

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