Killing the weekend

This past weekend started out well enough. I took Friday off work because, well, I just needed a day off. I'd been putting in extra hours since before Christmas, and it was starting to take its toll. So Friday was my day. I wasn't going to do anything for anyone except me. Between work, and doing stuff for everyone else in the world, I just wanted to be left the heck alone for a day. It started out pretty well. The 5/8 took the kids to school. This is a miracle in and of itself as she doesn't normally do anything that I could do instead. So it was pleasant to roll out of bed around 9:30 in the morning, coffee steaming in the Bunn and no kids to deal with. I did need to roll some cigs though, so I popped in "The Bourne Identity" for something to watch while I rolled the cigs. The 5/8 made me an egg and sausage sandwich for breakfast. I love egg and sausage sandwiches. This is something else that doesn't normally happen (refer to above where she doesn't normally do anything I could very well do).

She brought me the sandwich on a plate. The egg still steaming, the grease on the sausage glimmering and reflecting the light of the room. It smelled exceptional. I took the sandwich and leaned back on the couch, opening my mouth in great anticipation and took a big bite, and SPLOOSH. Yellow crap practically squirts out of the sandwich, splashing my hand and covering my shirt and pants. Seriously, who doesn't know that when one makes an egg sandwich, the yolks should be fully cooked? No, really, who doesn't know this? It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure this little tidbit out. But I think I found at least one person in the world who couldn't figure out that an egg with a runny yolk is a really lousy idea in a sandwich. But I recovered. I went upstairs and changed my clothes, came back down and finished eating my now cold, and runny egg sandwich.

Saturday brought some bad news though. Some of you may recall that I have a hobby of brewing beer. I hadn't brewed any in about six months or so. Between being busy, and finances and what not. Just never really had the time (or energy) to devote to it. There are a couple of recipes I use which I really like, and I've had good luck with. I went over to Ale-N-Vino which is the only store in Topeka where one can buy supplies for brewing beer and making home made wine. I'm not much of a wine person so I try to stay away from that. Just don't have the palate for it. If I made my own wine, I wouldn't know if it was good or not because it all tastes kinda crappy to me anyway. But beer. Ah, beer is the most important beverage ever - next to coffee. The cost of my supplies nearly doubled. I discovered this is due to a world-wide shortage of hops. Hops, one of the four ingredients of beer. Not only does this shortage make the cost of hops sky-rocket, most of the hops I use, like Golding and Fuggle, are no longer available - period. In addition, I've been informed that it doesn't look like these varieties will ever become available again.

Now, while I have brewed some good beer, I've always followed recipes from a book, or retrieved from the Internet. I would not call myself an accomplished brewer. I don't make my own mash, and I simply don't know enough about the whole process to figure out how to make good beer with the types of hops that are now available to us. That is something I'm going to have to start experimenting with. It looks like it is going to be a long, arduous year of creating beer, tasting beer, and deciding if it is a worthy mix. It is sad really. Sad that I am going to have to drink so much beer just to find a few good recipes. Worse though, is that I'm certain some of the beer will have about the same flavor (if not consistency) of skunk water. But that is the price we have to pay for excellence and innovation I suppose.

I'm going to be keep much better records now that I'm really into the experimentation stages of this brewing thing over at http://thebeermakingblog.blogspot.com my beer making blog (which has, right now, only one entry from like 2 years ago. I have a couple of more entries around somewhere that I need to get posted up there, and I will, soon, I hope.

Other than that, the weekend was mostly harmless. We watched "That Darn Cat" (the original) which was an enjoyable flick. Strange how the boys moaned and groaned about it 1) being old and 2) being a 'kids movie', and yet, the laughed and enjoyed it immensely. Disney, back in the day, certainly made some great, quality stuff that withstands the test of time. I'm fairly certain that in 20 or 30 years, my kids will be watching these movies with their kids.

The other movie we watched was "Farce of the Penguins". And I have to say, for a guy who has pretty much been 'penguined out' over the last couple of years with the flood of crappy penguin movies and penguin everything else, this movie was a laugh riot. This is rated R and definitely not for kids, at all. It is narrated by Samuel L. Jackson and stars the voice talents of Bob Saget, Carlos Mencia, John Stamos and a slew of others that I can't name off the top of my head. The movie was written by Bob Saget, and frankly, who knew this kind of stuff could come from a guy like that? It is irreverent, overtly sexual and sometimes downright nasty. All this, from the all-around good guy and nigh perfect father from the 90's sitcom "Full House".

Whiskey on the mind

This song has been stuck in my head for at least the last week or so. I don't know why. The 5/8 thinks I'm going nuts. But I think it just means I'm not drinking enough whiskey. She disagrees with me though.

Hello again, dear reader

It has been a very busy and hectic almost first month here in Northeast Kansas. The snow barely melted from the ground when it started to rain yesterday, which later in the night turned to snow. The streets were a mess last night, but much better this morning. We finally found a few hours of time this past weekend to take down our Christmas decorations. Let me tell you, it really isn't easy raising parents. If you have the chance to move away before you feel like you would be abandoning them because they are so needy - DO IT! Do it fast, and never look back. You can always go back and visit for holidays and stuff. I have to say that sometimes (most of the time?) it sucks to be the smart and responsible one. But I manage.

No. 2 Son is still in trouble school wise from last semester. The school are supposed to post a progress report every Wednesday on a secure web site so parents who care can track their student's progress. But the stupid site hasn't been updated since 13 December and I'm getting kind of ticked about it. He had a couple of Fs on that progress report, and the decision was made that he would not be able to play any computer or video games of any kind on a school day until his grades come up. He tells me that with the new semester, everybody starts with As. And that may be true, but all I have to go on is the last progress report. So still he is in his pickle.

He has been doing better so far. Every day he gets at least one or two of his teachers to sign his homework tracker. The deal there is; his bedtime is 9 PM, but for every teacher that does not sign his homework tracker, he goes to bed 10 minutes earlier. Since we started this back in late October, he has pretty much held a 7:40 PM bedtime. Now he is getting to stay up until 8:30 or so most nights.

I know, it seems like I'm a hard-ass, and I feel that way much of the time. But something has to be done. Nothing else we do seems to get through to him. And believe me, if you mention it, I've probably tried it. This kid is as stubborn as they come. I think he is 1/2 mule and 2/3 goat.

I know it's been a while since I have posted anything here. I'm not ignoring you, but I have been extremely preoccupied with work. The end of the year was a madhouse with so many projects having deadlines, it was sheer nuts. We're in the process of setting standards for the software department. This is something new because up until now, software has mainly been a kind of internal support/sideline thing. But the company realizes that web-based applications are where the world is going, so they are really pushing to beef up their software side of the house, and I have to tell you, one of the things I'm pushing for becoming a standard is zero deliveries to clients between 20 December and 7 January.

My Band's New CD!

The Count had a pretty cool post about a new band. Well, okay, not really a new band, but a fun little exercise type thingy. See, you follow the directions below my band's CD cover, and create your own band, album and cover. Pretty cool. Here is mine.

The rules are simple enough to follow:

Go here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special:Random and the title of the article that appears is the name of your band.

Then go here: http://www.quotationspage.com/random.php3 and the last four words, of the very last quote, is the name of your album

The go here: http://www.flickr.com/explore/interesting/7days/ and the third picture, regardless of what it is, is the cover art for your band's CD.

Then take all that into some graphics program (I like Photoshop) and create your CD cover.

Oh, BTW, a CD cover dimensions are 4.725x4.725 - but I'm a slacker, and I used 4.7x4.7 because, who the heck really cares?

Go ahead, give it a try, and let me know how it comes out.

Elephants & Mice

You've all probably seen Dumbo, and seen the cartoons where an elephant sees a mouse and goes running scared. I know I have. I also know that I have accepted as fact that elephants are afraid of mice. I never quite knew why they would be afraid of mice, but then again, I am a few hours short of my large mammal psychology degree from that online college in Belarus.

Be that as it may, there is a television show on Discovery channel that tackles things like "are elephants afraid of mice", "can a chicken destroy an airplane window" and "can you get electrocuted by peeing on the third rail of the subway". That show is Mythbusters. For those that haven't seen it, I would highly, highly recommend giving it a peak. It is entertaining and puts to rest many myths and urban legends, while confirming others. Over the Christmas they had an episode where they tried to set a Christmas tree on fire with just the tree lights. They couldn't get it to happen so they tried putting 25000 c9 lights (those are the big ones) and left then on for hours and hours, but never got hot enough to catch the tree on fire. But the ignited one little spark and WHOOSH! The tree was so dry by the time the stand-by firefights were able to move the 50 or so feet to the tree, it was gone.

At any rate, in this video the Mythbusters take on the myth of whether or not elephants are really afraid of mice. Take a look, you might be surprised.

Mouse v elephant
Uploaded by krupis

A most amazing kid...

Ben underwood is truly an amazing kid. Blind after having his eyes removed at age 3 (dues to cancer). He is the only known human who used echo-location to navigate the world. Check out this vid from the YouTube.

The 12 Days of Christmas

December 14, 1972

My dearest darling John:

Who ever in the whole world would dream of getting a real Partridge in a Pear Tree? How can I ever express my pleasure. Thank you a hundred times for thinking of me this way.

My love always, Agnes

---

December 15, 1972

Dearest John:

Today the postman brought your very sweet gift. Just imagine two turtle doves. I'm just delighted at your very thoughtful gift. They are just adorable.

All my love, Agnes

---

December 16, 1972

Dear John:

Oh! Aren't you the extravagant one. Now I must protest. I don't deserve such generosity, three French hens. They are just darling but I must insist, you've been too kind.

All my love, Agnes

---

December 17, 1972

Dear John:

Today the postman delivered four calling birds. Now really, they are beautiful, but don't you think enough is enough. You are being too romantic.

Affectionately, Agnes

---

December 18, 1972

Dearest John:

What a surprise. Today the postman delivered five golden rings, one for every finger. You're just impossible, but I love it. Frankly, all those birds squawking were beginning to get on my nerves.

All my love, Agnes

---

December 19, 1972

Dear John:

When I opened the door today there were actually six geese laying on my front steps. So you're back to the birds again huh? These geese are huge. Where will I ever keep them? The neighbors are complaining and I can't sleep through the racket. Please stop.

Cordially, Agnes

---

December 20, 1972

John:

What's with you and those freaking birds?? Seven swans a swimming. What kind of damn joke is this? There's bird poop all over the house and they never stop the racket. I can't sleep at night and I'm a nervous wreck. It's not funny. So stop those freaking birds.

Sincerely, Agnes

---

December 21, 1972

O.K. Buster:

I think I prefer the birds. What the hell am I going to do with 8 maids a milking? It's not enough with all those birds and 8 maids a milking, but they had to bring their damn cows. There is manure all over the lawn and I can't move in my own house. Just lay off me, smartass.

Agnes

---

December 22, 1972

Hey Shithead:

What are you? Some kind of sadist? Now there's nine pipers playing. And Christ do they play. They've never stopped chasing those maids since they got here yesterday morning. The cows are getting upset and they're stepping all over those screeching birds. What am I going to do? The neighbors have started a petition to evict me.

You'll get yours! Agnes

---

December 23, 1972

You rotten prick:

Now there's ten ladies dancing. I don't know why I call those sluts ladies. They've been balling those pipers all night long. Now the cows can't sleep and they've got diarrhea. My living room is a river of shit. The Commissioner of Buildings has subpoenaed me to give cause why the building shouldn't be condemned.

I'm calling the police on you! Agnes

---

December 24, 1972

Listen Fuckhead:

What's with those eleven lords a leaping on those maids and ladies? Some of those broads will never walk again. Those pipers ran through the maids and have been committing sodomy with the cows. All twenty-three of the birds are dead. They've been trampled to death in the orgy. I hope you're satisfied, you rotten vicious swine.

Your sworn enemy, Agnes

---

December 25, 1972

Dear Sir:

This is to acknowledge your latest gift of twelve fiddlers fiddling which you have seen fit to inflict on our client, Miss Agnes McHolstein. The destruction, of course, was total. All correspondence should come to our attention. If you should attempt to reach Miss McHolstein at Happy Dale Sanitarium, the attendants have been instructed to shoot you on sight. With this letter please find attached a warrant for your arrest.

Cordially, Law Offices of Badger, Bender and Chole

Oh Tannenbaum

The wind howled and the snow was falling sideways more than it was falling down. The mercury hadn't quite climbed above 20 degrees, but there we were, out in the middle of a chunk of land surrounded by Christmas Trees. Several years ago we had sort of just fallen into what is rapidly becoming a tradition of visiting the Rees' Pine-Apple farm to gather our Christmas tree. I'm the only one in the family left who still gets a live tree every year. Despite my older brother's proclamations that he would never, in a million years, get some stupid plastic fake tree. But that was before they bought the fake tree. Although, in his defense, his youngest is allergic to about 98% of the things most people take too much for granted. If they wanted a Christmas tree, they had two options; go plastic, or get rid of the kid. I think they had more invested in the kid and really didn't want to see that investment go to waste. I feel for the guy, no real tree.

It was cold though, very cold. The kind of cold that makes you think mother nature has it in for you. Like she is doing her very best to kill you off right then and there. We found a great tree right away, but the 5/8 just couldn't admit that the tree was almost-but-not-quite the perfect Christmas tree. So we walked around that field of trees for what seemed like hours. Time always seems to last longer when you're freezing your...uh...nose off. I started to remember one year up in the Last Frontier when My 2 Cents and I went out and braved the Alaskan winter in an attempt to find a couple of trees for our families. He was sick, and not feeling good at all. I kept telling myself "I've been colder before, and I'll probably be colder at some time later in life." By the way, that almost kind of sort of works. We found what we though would be a pretty nice tree after wading through waist high snow (for again, what seemed like hours). We started to brush the snow away from the base so we could cut it down good and close to the ground. We cleared snow, and cleared snow and cleared more snow. Until we finally realized that what we were wanting to cut down was one huge tree and the part we thought would make a good Christmas tree was only the top 1/3 or so. There was no way that tree was going to fit on the old Cherokee, let alone in either of our places of residences. So, dejected and empty handed we trekked that multitude of miles yards back to the Cherokee, got in the old giant black beast, and headed back to The City. The women folk for some reason didn't seem too surprised that we hadn't cut down the perfect tree, and thought we were fools for not just buying one at the corner gas station.

But, like the snow on Saturday, I'm beginning to drift a bit. We walked around that tree farm until we had looked at pretty much every tree they had. We ended up getting the first one we liked anyway. We could have saved a bunch of body heat by grabbing that one the first time we saw it. The kids enjoyed the time though, and I have to admit, being cold wasn't all that bad. It was still good family fun. We had loaded up Little Sister's MP3 player with Christmas songs, and plugged the old "cd -> cassette" contraption in and sang Christmas carols all the way out there and back.

Christmas Cheer

The kids made a gingerbread house. We never did that when we were kids. But then again, you couldn't simply go down to the store and buy a kit in a box either. One that doesn't require baking. It came with some sort of icing glue stuff to hold it all together. Seeing it makes me want to make a real one though. Maybe next year, I'll have to find a recipe for ginger bread. I remember making ginger bread people once when I was a kid. I asked mom about making a gingerbread house, like in Hansel and Gretel, but she side-stepped the question with something or other and it never came to fruition.

This one the kids did by themselves, no grown up participation (except to crack open the ol' wallet and fork over the $8 for the kit of course). I'm getting photo-happy as it gets closer to the holidays. So I'm treating everyone to another picture. Hope you like it.