Nigerian scammer's comeuppance

We've all received them. Those emails. Written with poor spelling and a more poor command of the English language. The person is the son/daughter/nephew of some deposed dictator or high government official in Nigeria. Or perhaps it is just from some corrupt bank official in same said country.

The premise is always the same. There are several millions of US dollars in some account that the originator of the email can't get to by themselves, but with your generous help, they can. And for your troubles, they will reward you with great sums of dollars. Sometimes several millions of dollars. All you have to do is be willing to say you are somehow entitled to the money.

Of course it's a scam. Usually there is some sort of processing fee involved, probably several thousand dollars, or possibly tens of thousands of dollars. But really, what is the four or five or twelve thousand dollars when you stand to gain $1.5 million? Peanuts. So you go through all of this, fork over your money, only to find out there isn't any money. Never was, never will be. It is all a scam.

These scams, come to be known as Nigerian email scams, are also known as 419 scams. The 419 is the section of the Nigerian penal code which deals with these types of scams. That's kind of a laugh though. I guess just because a law is on the books, doesn't mean that the law is ever enforced. But I'm starting to ramble. What I wanted to talk about here is the saga of Nicholas Okorie.

Nicholas Okorie is one of those adorable Nigerian scammers. His problem is that he contacted the wrong person. No, he didn't get in trouble with the law (at least, as far as I know) but he did receive some justice.

You can read Okorie's story here, at 419eater.com It's really quite an amusing story. Suffice it to say, he was talked into getting a tattoo to prove his 'worthiness' of the finances he was trying to scam from a church. Here's the picture he sent to the church proving his tattoo. You have to read the whole story though, it is quite imaginative. Makes me wish I had the time and knowledge to mess with people like this. The tat is the 'church' logo. Here is a better picture of the tat.

Showdown

Those of you who know me know that I'm not some crazed sports nut. Sure, I like the Chiefs, and I like to watch the Royals play when I can. But if I miss the game, its no big deal. I've never been much into sports. Probably because growing up I was simply too fat and too slow to play sports to any degree of anything.

We played neighborhood pick up baseball games, and they were always fun, and I cherish those memories. But I was never part of a real team. My older brother was exceptional at baseball. He was in the summer leagues up through junior high (yes, that's right, back then we didn't have middle schools, we had junior highs). And he was good. Real good. I believe to this day he could have played, at least in the minors, with success. I also believe the reason he quit was because the Ol' Man was just too pushy and overbearing about it all. So much so that my brother would choose to walk away from a game he loved, rather than put up with the Ol' Man.

I can't remember the last basketball game I watched clean through (other than at college when it really wasn't about watching the game so much as socializing). But tomorrow I'll have my eyes on the tube watching the KU/KSU game. I really don't know anything about these two teams. Other than what has been in the headlines. KU is currently undefeated. KSU is 14-4, undefeated in conference play. Both teams are in the AP Top 25 (KU at 2 and KSU at 22). KU is once again getting, in my opinion, the raw deal. They are 20-0 and the AP #1 team is 19-0. But that is the curse of being in Kansas. You get no respect. I remember the World Series between the Kansas City Royals and the St. Louis Cardinals. It was the first series I ever remember where the Goodyear blimp wasn't present. But who cared? It was only Missouri right? This kind of thing is all to familiar to those of us in fly-over country.

Against common sense (not to mention everyone in my family) I'm rooting for the 'Cats. Yes, that's right, I'm hoping that KSU beats the 'Hawks. Why? Living only 30 minutes from Jayhawk HQ (Lawrence) and about 70 minutes for Wildcat HQ (Manhattan), and having spent a couple of years attending KU, it would seem natural for me to be rooting for the 'Hawks.

But I'm an underdog kind of guy. I don't have any love for either brand, but KSU is certainly due. It's been something like 24 years since KSU has beaten KU at basketball at KSU. With a record like that, the law of averages has to, just has to catch up at some point. Plus, KU has to lose a game sometime (yeah, that's probably what people said about the football team), and I'd like that loss to be handed to them by KSU. If KSU were to pull off a win, it would certainly be one of those David and Goliath style upsets (and I don't mean that kid and his dog).

Either way, it is sure to be an exciting game, and I'm looking forward to watching it.

WHY MEN ARE NEVER DEPRESSED

This came in the email today (well, okay, it came yesterday, but I didn't read it until today). And I thought it was just to true not to share.

Your last name stays put.

The garage is all yours.

Wedding plans take care of themselves.

Chocolate is just another snack.

You can be President.

You can never be pregnant.

You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.

You can wear NO shirt to a water park.

Car mechanics tell you the truth.

The world is your urinal.

You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.

You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.

Same work, more pay.

Wrinkles add character.

A wedding dress is $5,000 but a Tux rents for $100.

People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.

The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.

New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.

One mood all the time.

Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.

You know stuff about tanks.

A five-day vacation requires one suitcase.

You can open all your own jars You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.

If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.

Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.

You almost never have strap problems in public.

You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.

Everything on your face stays its original color.

The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades!

You only have to shave your face and neck.
You can play with toys all your life.

Your belly usually hides your big hips.

One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color for all seasons.

You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.

You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife.

You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.

You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.

Took the plunge (finally)

Well, I finally did it. I have been wanting to for some years now, and finally, I just said "enough is enough, I don't care what happens, I 'm just gonna do it." And, of course, I'm talking about getting an MP3 player - or what they refer to these days as a "Media Player" because most (like the one I got) will also play videos.

I've been wanting an mp3 player for years. The kids all have one, but I've never gotten myself one. I had high hopes this past Christmas when the 5/8 said she got me something I'd been wanting. I'm thinking to myself 'w00t! she got me an mp3 player'. But of course, that was just wishful thinking. What I ended up with was some portable FM radio thing that never really worked. It would just shut off for no apparent reason, or change station without warning. Anyway, I'd finally said to my self, "self" I said "self, enough is enough. You never really buy anything for yourself, and to hell with it, you're getting yourself a Zune." So I did. And I'm not sorry about it either.

After consideration of the options, I chose to go with the Microsoft Zune. The price - feature ratio is pretty good, and I just couldn't go with the iPod. The iPod, for those not in the know, is married to iTunes, and will only accept one type of music file. The Zune, on the other hand, will take any kind of music you throw at it, and load it up and play it, without the need for time-consuming conversions. Also, a built-in WiFi sync with the PC (which I haven't yet been able to get to work) and the ability to trade music/videos/photos/podcasts via WiFi with other, nearby Zune players is kind a cool (again, I haven't used it, and quite frankly, don't know that I ever will, but it does have a high cool factor).

Oh yeah, and I can plug the Zune into the kids' XBox 360, and watch the videos from the Zune on the TV. I don't think the iPod will do that (but I could be wrong). So far, I love this thing. I almost haven't stopped listening to music since I got it, and I only have two small complaints.

The most annoying thing are the ear buds. The Zune 80 (which is what I got) comes with 'premium' ear buds. They come with several sizes of rubber attachments that fit into your ear. This creates a seal which 1) pretty much completely seals off outside noise - very nice (especially when the 5/8 is ranting about yet another thing) and b) makes the full range of music sound oh so much nicer and more vibrant. I have never really paid much attention to things like headphones or earphones and their quality and what not. But my-oh-my these things make you feel like you sitting right there next to the musicians while they are playing.

Now, I know what you're thinking. You're thinking 'so what is annoying about that?', and the annoying thing is this. Well, I'll tell you. The Einteins that designed these things have a cloth-type covering for the cable instead of the standard plastic covering. While this gives the cables a nice look and feel, the problem comes when you're listening to the thing and the cable moves. The sound of the rough cloth-rope-like texture travels the cables and is loud.

The other minor annoyance is that you can't sync the Zune using Windows Media Player. I love WMP. I have tried other media players for the PC, and I have found them all somewhat lacking compared to WMP. I use it for everything, and even purchased the plug-in to allow me to play .m4a files (mp4 audio - what iTunes uses). Personally, I prefer using .wma files with their variable bit rate, but we can't get everything we want.

I can't figure why they did that. I mean, it is Microsoft after all. They make the Zune, they make Windows Media Player. It seems to me that it would have been much more efficient to create a plugin or special version of WMP to sync with the Zune than to create a whole new program that for doing it. Oh well, I suppose that is why Bill Gates & Co are worth billions and I'm...well...me.

Killing the weekend

This past weekend started out well enough. I took Friday off work because, well, I just needed a day off. I'd been putting in extra hours since before Christmas, and it was starting to take its toll. So Friday was my day. I wasn't going to do anything for anyone except me. Between work, and doing stuff for everyone else in the world, I just wanted to be left the heck alone for a day. It started out pretty well. The 5/8 took the kids to school. This is a miracle in and of itself as she doesn't normally do anything that I could do instead. So it was pleasant to roll out of bed around 9:30 in the morning, coffee steaming in the Bunn and no kids to deal with. I did need to roll some cigs though, so I popped in "The Bourne Identity" for something to watch while I rolled the cigs. The 5/8 made me an egg and sausage sandwich for breakfast. I love egg and sausage sandwiches. This is something else that doesn't normally happen (refer to above where she doesn't normally do anything I could very well do).

She brought me the sandwich on a plate. The egg still steaming, the grease on the sausage glimmering and reflecting the light of the room. It smelled exceptional. I took the sandwich and leaned back on the couch, opening my mouth in great anticipation and took a big bite, and SPLOOSH. Yellow crap practically squirts out of the sandwich, splashing my hand and covering my shirt and pants. Seriously, who doesn't know that when one makes an egg sandwich, the yolks should be fully cooked? No, really, who doesn't know this? It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure this little tidbit out. But I think I found at least one person in the world who couldn't figure out that an egg with a runny yolk is a really lousy idea in a sandwich. But I recovered. I went upstairs and changed my clothes, came back down and finished eating my now cold, and runny egg sandwich.

Saturday brought some bad news though. Some of you may recall that I have a hobby of brewing beer. I hadn't brewed any in about six months or so. Between being busy, and finances and what not. Just never really had the time (or energy) to devote to it. There are a couple of recipes I use which I really like, and I've had good luck with. I went over to Ale-N-Vino which is the only store in Topeka where one can buy supplies for brewing beer and making home made wine. I'm not much of a wine person so I try to stay away from that. Just don't have the palate for it. If I made my own wine, I wouldn't know if it was good or not because it all tastes kinda crappy to me anyway. But beer. Ah, beer is the most important beverage ever - next to coffee. The cost of my supplies nearly doubled. I discovered this is due to a world-wide shortage of hops. Hops, one of the four ingredients of beer. Not only does this shortage make the cost of hops sky-rocket, most of the hops I use, like Golding and Fuggle, are no longer available - period. In addition, I've been informed that it doesn't look like these varieties will ever become available again.

Now, while I have brewed some good beer, I've always followed recipes from a book, or retrieved from the Internet. I would not call myself an accomplished brewer. I don't make my own mash, and I simply don't know enough about the whole process to figure out how to make good beer with the types of hops that are now available to us. That is something I'm going to have to start experimenting with. It looks like it is going to be a long, arduous year of creating beer, tasting beer, and deciding if it is a worthy mix. It is sad really. Sad that I am going to have to drink so much beer just to find a few good recipes. Worse though, is that I'm certain some of the beer will have about the same flavor (if not consistency) of skunk water. But that is the price we have to pay for excellence and innovation I suppose.

I'm going to be keep much better records now that I'm really into the experimentation stages of this brewing thing over at http://thebeermakingblog.blogspot.com my beer making blog (which has, right now, only one entry from like 2 years ago. I have a couple of more entries around somewhere that I need to get posted up there, and I will, soon, I hope.

Other than that, the weekend was mostly harmless. We watched "That Darn Cat" (the original) which was an enjoyable flick. Strange how the boys moaned and groaned about it 1) being old and 2) being a 'kids movie', and yet, the laughed and enjoyed it immensely. Disney, back in the day, certainly made some great, quality stuff that withstands the test of time. I'm fairly certain that in 20 or 30 years, my kids will be watching these movies with their kids.

The other movie we watched was "Farce of the Penguins". And I have to say, for a guy who has pretty much been 'penguined out' over the last couple of years with the flood of crappy penguin movies and penguin everything else, this movie was a laugh riot. This is rated R and definitely not for kids, at all. It is narrated by Samuel L. Jackson and stars the voice talents of Bob Saget, Carlos Mencia, John Stamos and a slew of others that I can't name off the top of my head. The movie was written by Bob Saget, and frankly, who knew this kind of stuff could come from a guy like that? It is irreverent, overtly sexual and sometimes downright nasty. All this, from the all-around good guy and nigh perfect father from the 90's sitcom "Full House".

Whiskey on the mind

This song has been stuck in my head for at least the last week or so. I don't know why. The 5/8 thinks I'm going nuts. But I think it just means I'm not drinking enough whiskey. She disagrees with me though.

Hello again, dear reader

It has been a very busy and hectic almost first month here in Northeast Kansas. The snow barely melted from the ground when it started to rain yesterday, which later in the night turned to snow. The streets were a mess last night, but much better this morning. We finally found a few hours of time this past weekend to take down our Christmas decorations. Let me tell you, it really isn't easy raising parents. If you have the chance to move away before you feel like you would be abandoning them because they are so needy - DO IT! Do it fast, and never look back. You can always go back and visit for holidays and stuff. I have to say that sometimes (most of the time?) it sucks to be the smart and responsible one. But I manage.

No. 2 Son is still in trouble school wise from last semester. The school are supposed to post a progress report every Wednesday on a secure web site so parents who care can track their student's progress. But the stupid site hasn't been updated since 13 December and I'm getting kind of ticked about it. He had a couple of Fs on that progress report, and the decision was made that he would not be able to play any computer or video games of any kind on a school day until his grades come up. He tells me that with the new semester, everybody starts with As. And that may be true, but all I have to go on is the last progress report. So still he is in his pickle.

He has been doing better so far. Every day he gets at least one or two of his teachers to sign his homework tracker. The deal there is; his bedtime is 9 PM, but for every teacher that does not sign his homework tracker, he goes to bed 10 minutes earlier. Since we started this back in late October, he has pretty much held a 7:40 PM bedtime. Now he is getting to stay up until 8:30 or so most nights.

I know, it seems like I'm a hard-ass, and I feel that way much of the time. But something has to be done. Nothing else we do seems to get through to him. And believe me, if you mention it, I've probably tried it. This kid is as stubborn as they come. I think he is 1/2 mule and 2/3 goat.

I know it's been a while since I have posted anything here. I'm not ignoring you, but I have been extremely preoccupied with work. The end of the year was a madhouse with so many projects having deadlines, it was sheer nuts. We're in the process of setting standards for the software department. This is something new because up until now, software has mainly been a kind of internal support/sideline thing. But the company realizes that web-based applications are where the world is going, so they are really pushing to beef up their software side of the house, and I have to tell you, one of the things I'm pushing for becoming a standard is zero deliveries to clients between 20 December and 7 January.

My Band's New CD!

The Count had a pretty cool post about a new band. Well, okay, not really a new band, but a fun little exercise type thingy. See, you follow the directions below my band's CD cover, and create your own band, album and cover. Pretty cool. Here is mine.

The rules are simple enough to follow:

Go here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special:Random and the title of the article that appears is the name of your band.

Then go here: http://www.quotationspage.com/random.php3 and the last four words, of the very last quote, is the name of your album

The go here: http://www.flickr.com/explore/interesting/7days/ and the third picture, regardless of what it is, is the cover art for your band's CD.

Then take all that into some graphics program (I like Photoshop) and create your CD cover.

Oh, BTW, a CD cover dimensions are 4.725x4.725 - but I'm a slacker, and I used 4.7x4.7 because, who the heck really cares?

Go ahead, give it a try, and let me know how it comes out.

Elephants & Mice

You've all probably seen Dumbo, and seen the cartoons where an elephant sees a mouse and goes running scared. I know I have. I also know that I have accepted as fact that elephants are afraid of mice. I never quite knew why they would be afraid of mice, but then again, I am a few hours short of my large mammal psychology degree from that online college in Belarus.

Be that as it may, there is a television show on Discovery channel that tackles things like "are elephants afraid of mice", "can a chicken destroy an airplane window" and "can you get electrocuted by peeing on the third rail of the subway". That show is Mythbusters. For those that haven't seen it, I would highly, highly recommend giving it a peak. It is entertaining and puts to rest many myths and urban legends, while confirming others. Over the Christmas they had an episode where they tried to set a Christmas tree on fire with just the tree lights. They couldn't get it to happen so they tried putting 25000 c9 lights (those are the big ones) and left then on for hours and hours, but never got hot enough to catch the tree on fire. But the ignited one little spark and WHOOSH! The tree was so dry by the time the stand-by firefights were able to move the 50 or so feet to the tree, it was gone.

At any rate, in this video the Mythbusters take on the myth of whether or not elephants are really afraid of mice. Take a look, you might be surprised.

Mouse v elephant
Uploaded by krupis