SNOWFALL

"They can put a man on the moon, but they can't keep this white crap from falling from they sky?" - Alex P. Keaton

Actually, I love the snow. It is my firm belief that cold weather is a complete and utter waste of time without snow. And we got the snow. Truth be told, we got more snow before Christmas this year than we normally get all year long. It hasn't snowed this much here in Fly-Over Country since I was a kid. I love it. My kids are lovin' it. The 5/8 is hating it.

When I got out of bed this morning, I looked out the window to the dark, snow-covered street below, it was calm and serene looking. A neighbor had his truck running, headlights casting shadows up the street as I heard the distinctive scrape, scrape, scrape sound that can only come from a shovel, shoveling snow off concrete. It didn't look that bad. I figured the kids were going to be in school, and the 5/8 would hate it even more for having to drive in it. But, being the dutiful and generous and loving husband I am, I sneaked downstairs and fired up the web browser and hit the local news station website.

WIBW Channel 13. That is the news station that everyone turns to for closings and cancellations. Oh, the other stations have the list, and run the ticker along the bottom and read the list on air. But if you were to ask any state employee, city employee, school teacher, pastor or just about anyone else, WIBW has the de-facto official list. Sister Corita would tell us it doesn't matter what is said anywhere except Channel 13. If Channel 13 doesn't say school is closed, then school isn't closed. And for those of you who know her, you know there is no arguing with Sister Corita - ever.

I took another look out the front door window as I worked my way to my cramped little den and turned on the monitor and logged in. Still, it didn't look that bad. Opening the school closings page, I was shocked to see that the schools were closed. 'Maybe it's because it rained all day yesterday, and the streets are really slick' I though to myself 'Oh well'.

I gingerly worked my way back up the stairs. Trying to make as little noise as possible on those creaky old stairs. Told the 5/8 that school was canceled and turned her alarm off. Watching the news as I was preparing for work, they were saying we received 7 inches of snow overnight. Looking out the window, it still didn't look that deep to me. They had some young lady out in their parking lot, making snow angels and sticking a ruler in the snow. Poor kid, she was probably and intern, they get the worst assignments. She measured 9 inches with the ruler. I don't know how scientific that measurement is.

Heading out the back door towards the garage I was stunned to see how much deeper the snow looked up close and personal. Oddly, it seems our street had been plowed. We live on a wide street that I would have thought would be a priority for plowing. Back in the day, the trolley used to run down our street. Even with cars parked along both sides, two fire trucks could drive down our street side-by-side, that is how wide our street is. But until today, I don't believe our street had ever been plowed. Today it was, and that was a pleasant surprise.

I was prepared (I thought) for the drive into work. I knew that other people, even people who lived in Kansas way back when it used to snow like this all the time, didn't really exhibit the skills required for snow driving. Having lived in Alaska for around four years really taught me a lot about driving in the snow. Add to that about three years of driving my Jeep through the mountains of Colorado, I learned how to keep a vehicle moving forward with minimum traction.

The key is using the front tires to constantly seek new traction. Let's say you're at a stop sign, and you have little-to-no traction starting out; one thing that has never failed me (yet) is to turn the wheels left to right continuously. I'm not certain exactly what this does, but I do know it works. I drive that little POS Honda Insight (which is great for highway commuting, but pretty much worthless other than that) and I didn't have any problems with traction or getting stuck. The folks at work were amazed I could get in to the office in that little thing. I told them I have skills - with a z.

The worst I had to deal with was somebody driving up Huntoon St. They were scared I'm certain, being very cautions, driving about eight miles per hour. I don't have a problem with people driving slow in the snow. If they are comfortable, and I'm certain that the slower you drive, and the more confident you are behind the wheel, the safer it is for everyone. But this guy was on a four lane road, and driving down the middle of it. Taking up two lanes, going eight miles per hour. I don't know why they didn't pick a stinking lane. I know my vehicle, and I know what I can handle. I know how fast I can drive in what conditions. And I knew that I would be comfortable and safe at around 20-25 miles per hour. But this guy would not relinquish the middle of the road so that I, nor anyone stacked up behind me, could get around them.

But other than that, it was a fairly easy drive in.