GE: Imagine it works

Did I mention how badly General Electric sucks? I think I did, about month and a half to two months ago. The saga with our clothes washer continues to plague us. The confounded thing has once again decided to break. The 5/8 is livid. She called GE's so-called 'Customer Relations'. And was once again told that the washer will be repaired, and not replaced. This comes after the last time (which took a month to fix) we were told if it broke again, they would replace it.

At first, the nice and generous folks at GE told us me they can have someone out to look at (note: 'look at' - not 'fix') the washer on Tuesday.

Me: "Tuesday? You mean today?"
GE Putz: "No sir, next Tuesday."
Me: "Do you mean to tell me that your products are in such a state that all of your authorized repairmen are so busy nobody can get here in less than a week?"
GE Putz: "Everyone is busy Sir, not just us.
Me: "That's not true, I can call 'ACE Plumbing' and they'd be out tomorrow."
GE Putz: "Are they an authorized repair facility? If they are you are welcome to call them."
Me: "How am I supposed to know that? Isn't that your job? To know who is and isn't authorized to repair your junk?"
GE Putz: "Well, we can use a different company than last time. Do you want me to send out 'Dynamic Appliances'?"
Me: "I don't care who you send out. Hell, you could send out my neighbor for all I care, as long as they can fix it before next week."
GE Putz: *puts me on hold again - although only about 5 minutes this time* "Ok, Dynamic Appliance can be out on Friday morning, or Thursday if they can make it."
Me: "But it could be another month before its fixed right? If they have to order parts?"
GE Putz: "That's unlikely..."
Me: "Yeah, that's what I would have thought too, until last time. What will it take to get this thing just replaced?"
GE Putz: "We won't replace it as long as it is repairable."
Me: "Umm...ok, but where is my confidence that it will stay repaired?"
GE Putz: "I don't understand."
Me: "Ok, I have had this washer for about 6 months, and I have gotten maybe 4 months of use out of it. It seems it is in a constant state of repair. After this repair, how can I have any confidence that it will not break down again next month? This washer is a lemon. It get repaired, and then breaks again right away."
GE Putz: "If it breaks again right away, you need to call the repair facility that repaired it."
Me: "It isn't the repairmen that do a bad job of repairing it. It is your crappy parts that keep breaking, how can I get better parts?"
GE Putz: "Sir, all authorized repair facilities use proper GE parts"
Me: "Yes, but those are the parts that keep breaking. Is there another manufacturer for parts for your junk that maybe has some sort of quality control that I can rest assured they parts won't break next month?"
GE Putz: "The repair facilities use the proper parts."

I new it was going nowhere. So, at the end of the week, some repair guy will come out, look at the washer. Note, he is going to 'look' at the washer, not necessarily 'fix' the washer. My guess is that he will have to order parts. And if past performance is in any way indicative of future promises, those parts will be on back order. And probably take another month to get here. If that is the case, I'm going to buy a new washer. Then I'll have one for when this piece of fecal matter breaks down again.

And believe you me, I will make damn certain it will break down as often as possible. I will wash the rankest, heaviest and nastiest crap in that washing machine I can think of. I will over-fill it on a regular basis and basically treat it like garbage so that I make them asshats come out very couple of weeks if I can. I won't care because I'll have another washer that can be used for real work.

Next time I'll ask them if GE's blurb line should read "Imagine it works" instead of "Imagination at work." Don't you just hate it when you come up with a good zinger like that just a bit too late? I've got it saved now though, and will definitely use it with the next GE Putz I have to speak with.

Mmmmmm bratwurst...

It started out as a mostly uneventful weekend over here in fly-over country. There is a church here, Sacred Heart, which has traditionally serviced the German immigrant community. Not that there are all that many German immigrants to Topeka any more. But there was a time. There was a time, when a good portion of the Oakland neighborhood we populated by people from the "old country" so to speak.

I remember gramma Sachs fondly. She wasn't really my grandmother, and I'm not 100% on why we called her 'gramma' growing up. But that is really neither here nor there. I remember the smell of her kitchen. It seems she was always make her krautstrudal. I loved that stuff. Now, when mom made it, she made more or less individual portions. She would make maybe ten or twelve smaller strudels. But gramma Sachs...gramma Sachs would make this gigantic log of strudel. I always like that better, probably because it could fit more meat in it that way.

Sacred Heart every year has their "Germanfest" fundraiser in early June. Our Lady of Guadalupe has their "Fiesta Mexicana" in July. These are the two big cultural celebrations (ok, not counting St. Paddy's Day) the Topeka has. And the last time I went to Fiesta (a couple of years ago) I was not terribly impressed. Oddly enough, the two churches, Sacred Heart and Gualdalupe, are within a mile of each other, in the same Oakland neighborhood. The neighborhood, once ripe with heavily accented German immigrants, is now populated by heavily accented Hispanic immigrants. But that didn't stop an enormous crowd from gathering at Sacred Heart's Germanfest of good food and decent beer.

All the food at the Germanfest is hand made. Even the noodles, and the breads. All made from scratch which is what makes the event so good. There isn't much for the kids. A few things, but those are mostly for the really young kids, around 5 or so. Mine were told old to have much fun there. But the food was good, and the beer, while being regular, every day America lager, still went down smoothly. And the strudel, brats, sauerkraut and sausages were divine. I don't know if the ladies of the parish actually hand-made the sausage, but it wouldn't surprise me a bit.

The Germanfest runs from Saturday evening through Sunday evening. I've discovered that Sunday is the better day to go. Mainly because they have the beer garde open. I like to give the kids a dollar, and let them go about what ever it is they like doing, while I relax in the beer garden and people watch. But Saturday, the beer garden was nowhere to be found. So I ended up sitting under a big tent listening to the Hayden High School Drumline.

Now, those kids aren't back, not bad at all. But they also don't hold a candled to the THS Drumline. The kids from THS just seem to have more...I don't...passion? yeah, for lack of a better term, I'll call it passion. The Hayden kids were very technical, but didn't have any heart. I have no doubt they hit 98% of the beats (notes?) correctly and in time. But they had the blank expressions of mannequins. They didn't smile, they hardly moved. They played, but did not put on a show.

Heckvua storm

It rained last night. And I don't just mean it rained, I mean it rained, rained hard. Cats & dogs one might say. It was a regular cacophony of thunder and lightening and rain hitting the roof and windows so hard it almost sounded like the house was being bombarded with tiny little pieces of gravel.

The, the almost unthinkable happened. Something that has so rarely happened in the 7 years we've been in our house, it was nigh unfathomable. The power went out. Completely. Not just a little, but all of it. Across the street, in perfect Topeka fashion, they retained their power. Usually it is the other way around. The folks on the eastern side of the street lose their power, while our side maintains theirs.

My first thought, of course, was that we had to finish drinking what coffee had been made before it went cold because, well, I didn't want to heat a cup of coffee with a candle. The migration from beautiful, electric powered light to flashlights and candles was pretty smooth. The batteries mostly still worked, and which flash light batteries didn't work, we had spares.

So, we headed out to the front porch. We recently bought a table and chairs to put on the front porch. We put them there with the intention of being able to sit around the table and do whatever people do when sitting around a table on their front porch. I don't have much experience with that, so I don't really know. We'd bought the set a couple of weeks go, and it has sat dutifully on our front porch all that time just waiting to be used. So we sat and listened to the rain fall, and watched the lightening flash. And yelled cautioned the kids that since we really didn't need the flashlights right here, right now, they would be best to leave them off lest they run down their batteries and then, later, could not find their way to the bathroom in the dark.

I looked out across the street. I could see their lights on over there. The blue glow that can only come from a television. Their porch lights slicing through the wet darkness. All that light and electricity...glaring towards my house, which was dark, and powerless...mocking me. Now I knew. I knew what it felt like to be on 'that' side of the street. The one without power. The one which has been, in an instant, transported to time and space back to the dark ages. Well, maybe the late 19th century anyway (which was pretty dark at night, not being any electricity and all).

None of the other neighbors were out on their porches which, quite frankly, surprised me. I had fully expected them to be out. Better to sit outside in the darkness, than inside in the darkness. At least that is my point of view. We would watch the cars come roaring down the street. I keep threatening to make a giant sign and nail it to the tree near the curb. I'd make the background of the sign bright yellow. And in big black block letters, I would write "SLOW DOWN". Our street is wide. About three and a half lanes wide. Back in the day, the trolley went down our street, to the college. So even with cars parked on both sides, there is plenty of room for two cars and a motorcycle to fit across the street comfortably. All this with a 6 block stretch and no traffic control. No yield signs. No stop signs. So people tend to drive fast down our street. It is currently being restored to a brick surface. We're all hoping it has a traffic calming effect.

The cars would come barreling down the street, and slow quickly before continuing on. No. 1 Son noticed a car had stopped about 1/2 down our block, and somebody was out of the car and walking around. I went to the curb, the rain was dying down now, not much more than a light drizzle at this point, and looked. I saw two flares in the road in front of a branch. I beckoned the boys to come with me and see if we could move the big branch out of the road so nobody would hit it.

As we walked towards the branch, No. 1 Son said "Dad, I don't think we can move that branch". Indeed, it seemed the branch was grow exponentially as we neared it. Like something from some cheesy Sci-Fi channel movie. In fact, upon inspection, it was not a branch at all, but a tree. It had been hit by lightening and fell right into the street. The police had put some flares around it so people wouldn't hit it. I ran back to the house and got my camera because, with the smoke and the red flare fire, and the lights from the po-po car shining through the tree from the other side, it was all pretty cool looking. I stupidly neglected to get my tripod, so all my pictures had to be flash pictures. It would have been cool to get some extended exposure pictures of that scene.

I'll update with some pictures once I get them off the camera. But since my power was out last night, I couldn't really do it then. And since my work - as generous as they are - gives me a laptop with no card reader, I'll have to wait until I get home tonight before I can get the pictures off the camera.

After a bit, the 5/8 and Little Sister joined us. The the neighbors started trickling out of their houses. We talked about what happened "Did you see it?", "Did you hear it?" "No, but I heard the transformer blow". "Is Doc home?" "No, we don't know where he is." "Is there a car underneath the tree?" "Doesn't look like it". And other chit-chat about the tree, which then migrated to other things. All in all, I'm glad the tree fell. We were able to have some nice conversations with the neighbors. In these days, when it is either 90+ degrees, or raining, the neighbors are not out and about, sitting on their porches and what not, like they are in May or in September so we don't get to see them so much.

The 5/8 was restless though. We ended up going to bed about 9:30 last night. I mean, what the heck else you gonna do? No power. Sure, could mess on the computer for an hour or so before the battery finally declared that enough was enough - but no power = no Internet. And really, what good is a computer if you don't have it plugged in and online? I can play solitaire with real cards. The 5/8 made the comment "what did they do in the old days" to which I replied "sleep".

Literary Thoughts: Honk & Holler Opening Soon

Sometimes I run out of things to read. In those dire times, I'll usually fumble through the 5/8 selection of books to find something. Now, the 5/8 gets most of her reading material from my mother. This means, the books - at least from my view - aren't the greatest tomes. Usually rather pointless meandering stories about people from small dusty towns who have names like "Drake" and go about doing things like having babies in the Wal Mart.

"The Honk and Holler Opening Soon" is not much of an exception to that general rule. It was penned by Oklahoma native Billie Letts and follows a mish mash group of characters who don't seem to fit together well. The book it titled from the restaurant at the center of everything. It was supposed to be named "The Honk and Holler" but when Caney (the owner) ordered the sign, he was three sheets to the wind and in a drunken mistake, messed it up.

Caney is a wheelchair bound Vietnam veteran who hasn't left the diner in 12 or so years...since he opened it. His waitress is Molly O who had a big hand in raising Caney. Soon joined by people with names as unreal as Vena and Bui. See what I mean about strange names? It is almost as if these types of books want to try so hard to be more real or something, they the authors would never use a name like "Steve" for the main character. All the primary characters have names like that. Not ones you'd find very often in the real world. And of course, you have to through in some jerk guy who is bigoted and misogynistic to cause trouble for everyone involved.

The whole time I reading this book, I'm thinking, if it were a movie (it would be chick flick - natch) that Natalie Portman would have to play the role of Vena. And maybe Sigourney Weaver as Molly O. The whole thing reminded me of a movie I'd seen with the 5/8 several years ago where Natalie Portman played a girl who was homeless and pregnant, and ended up living in the Wal-Mart, where she had given birth to a baby. Then I realized, the reason for this was because that movie was based on a book by the same author. Déjà vu all over again.

It isn't that I disliked the book. It isn't that I felt it was a waste of time reading it. It just didn't grab me. This isn't a work where I was anxious to get back to reading it. Except after the half-way point, where I just wanted to get it over with and move on to something interesting. It wasn't a horrible read. It was rather quick, but just not all that interesting for me. The chicks will dig it though, I have no doubt.

Movie Thoughts: Cloverfield

I didn't know what this movie was actually about. I had seen the commercials, and the movie promo pictures. You know the ones, where the head of the Statue of Liberty is ripped from it's body, mangled steel beams jutting from it's decapitated body like some sort of metallic veins.

I knew it was a monster movie. And I knew it was created by J.J. Abrams, one of the creative minds behind what I would consider the best television show in recent history; "LOST". But other than that, it was a mystery to me.

This weekend we rented the movie. Some of the boys' friends and cousins who had seen the movie were not impressed with it. But this I learned after I had already rented it, so I was a bit leery of it, not quite knowing what to expect.

The entire movie is shot in POV (point-of-view) style much like the "Blair Witch Project" movie. It was all shot on a hand-held video camera - all shaky and erratic. In addition, no real 'name' stars are in it. Some I kind of think I've seen in something else, but not enough to really recognize. All this combined, with the dark atmosphere, and only momentary glimpses of the monster, made for a very compelling film.

I think the younger generation didn't like it probably because of the lack of gore. But it was well done, and the lack of gore and swearing, only heightened the quality of the film in my view. Any film which can keep you on the edge of your seat, and make you squirm at times, yet still be rated PG-13; that is a testament to a great film.

Maybe I've become an old fogy or something along those lines, but it seems to me that movies to often rely on the shock value to get their point across. The writers and directors are more interested in shocking the audience, than the subtlety of story telling, and dramatic sequences, angles and lighting. Then again, most of the movies the last number of years don't have much of a story to tell. As one guy at work today put it, 'this is the decades of remakes and sequels' and I think he might be right. Although, I would recommend this movie highly, if you like to be kept on the edge of your seat, without having to worry about seeing the kind of blood you might see in the latest Saw, or Hostel installment.

**** Some might consider the following a spoiler, so don't read on if you're afraid to learn the plot (but no outcomes) of the film ***

Cloverfield is, in essence, a retelling of the original Godzilla story. A strange creature come from the sea - at least, it looks like it comes form the sea. Terrorizes and mostly destroys major population area. New York City this time, instead of Tokyo. There is no man in a big rubber monster suit though, nor poorly dubbed soundtrack where people talk entire paragraphs of dialog in one breath. The CGI animation of the monster was incredible. Probably aided by the fact the whole thing takes place at night...over a time span of about eight hours or so.

The question I had to keep putting out of my mind to better enjoy the film was 'where do you get a video camera with a battery that will last that long?'. The whole thing, as stated before, is POV from the camera holder's perspective. I'm guessing the guy must have turned off the camera for long periods of time during the night, because in total, there was only a couple of hours of tape.

School's Out

Yesterday, at about noon, officially started the summer vacation in our not-so little house on the not-so prairie. For No. 1 Son, it technically started on Tuesday, at 11.:30 when the high school ended he 2007-2008 school year. The k-8 school the other two attend went until after Mass on Thursday.

Earlier this week, No. 1 Son's best friend, and what feels like my fourth kid, left for his summer trip to California. His father lives there, and he spends the summers there. He, of course, comes back with such fantastic tales. You just know 98% of it is complete shoeshine. But sometimes he gets some entertaining stories going...as long as he doesn't try too hard to make them sound convincing.

A dangerous thing happened on Wednesday though. No. 1 Son went to spend the day at his old middle school. He went there to see his old teachers- who put him to work immediately hauling boxes and getting things picked up so the school could be closed down (natch!). But that isn't the dangerous thing. It seems that No. 4 Son's girlfriend went to the same middle school as No. 1 Son. So the day after No. 4 Son leaves to spend the summer in California, No. 1 Son and the girl end up going to lunch at a great little diner downtown called (appropriately) "The Downtowner." Then spend the rest of the afternoon just wandering around downtown.

I told the 5/8 that this was a dangerous situation for No. 1 Son to be in. His best friend leaves for the duration of summer vacation, and the very next day, he goes traipsing around downtown with said best friends girlfriend. The 5/8 didn't seem to get the significance of that. She thinks nothing is going to happen between the two. But I remember being a teenager. And being a teenage boy at that. When you're a teenage boy, you don't think about consequences like that. You don't think about your best friend, who's 1/2 a continent away. You don't think that if you spend too much time with that girl, your setting yourself up for a scuffle when your friend gets back. Looks like I'm going to have to have a talk with No. 1 Son before he gets himself in too deep.

The 5/8 has pledged to take No 2 Son and Little Sister to the YMCA during the summer to exercise. We'll see how that goes. But both of the kids want to go. So if they pester her enough, she'll give in. She always does.

We were going to go to Cancun this summer, but Uncle Sam put the kibosh on that with the dismal tax return we got. So we put our vacation savings back in the bank, and we'll try again next year. With gas prices kissing the $4 mark, we probably won't be going anywhere for vacation. It sucks, but that's the way it goes sometimes.

As always...thanks for reading.

Movie Thoughts: Iron Man

What surprised the living begeezus out of me was Mother's Day. The 5/8 requested that the family to and see "Iron Man". Now, she isn't against movies, but her wanting to see a movie, made from a comic book character clad in metal, with ginormous explosions aplenty...well...I'll tell you this, I searched the basement for pods before we left for the theater.

I liked the movie. While I used to collect comics religiously, I never collected much in the way of Marvel comics. I know most of the main characters; Spiderman, Hulk, X Men, Submariner etc. But I've never read them with frequency. So my opinion is somewhat skewed from that of the (as Stan Lee would put it ) 'True Believers'.

When I first heard that Robert Downey, Jr. was playing Tony Stark (Iron Man's alter ego), I wasn't certain how good the movie was going to be. I mean, come on...this is the guy from movies like "Weird Science", "Back to School", "The Pick-Up Artist" and "Less Than Zero". Okay stuff, but certainly not anywhere near the character he took on this time. But then I figured, if anyone can play a hopeless drunkard...he certainly has the real life experience for it.

So, coming from the perspective of one who knows who Iron Man is, and has some idea of his origin and the like, but not being a complete fanboy, I have to say, I thought that movie ROCKED! Almost from the start. It never got slow or boring. And some of the scenes where Stark is upgrading/testing his armor are down right laugh out loud funny.

Of the recent crop of super hero movies, for pure entertainment value, I think I would even put Iron Man above Spiderman. With Iron Man, you have a great concept, but not a gigantic fanboy base like with Spiderman, so they didn't have to spend so much time on the creation, and could spend more time just having fun with it. And it shows.

Even if you're not a super hero movie fan, but like just good raucous fun, this movie is great. You could pretty much walk in at any point, and be entertained by it.

Motivation

I started this blog a couple of years ago for no real reason at all. I didn't have any set goal in mind when I did. I wanted to document some of the things happening in and around this part of the nation that is referred to as 'fly-over country' - that is to say the Midwest. It is amazing to look at the analytics and server logs and see that people actually stop by my little home on the range here. That people not only stop by, but that some continue to come back time after time. What it is that makes you come back, I can't figure out. The musings of some unknown guy in some nigh desolate area of the country that the vast majority of people think is still being kept in line by a guy named Matt Dillon.

I was fairly gung-ho about it in the beginning, but then slowly began to wane in the frequency of my posts. But then something happened. A friend of mine...well, really, my best friends wife to be exact started her own blog. And she wrote about her life and her families adventures up in the (even more) desolate area of Minot, North Dakota. For those of you not in the know, if you had a good arm, and a new baseball, you could probably through a baseball from Minot, and have it land in Canada. That's how far north it is. You can't get much more north and still be in the good ol' US of A.

At any rate. She started her blog, and it was good. I was an avid reader. Always interested in seeing pictures of her kids, and seeing what was going on up nawth. And she gave me inspiration to post more frequently, and (I think anyway) more quality stuff. To improve my writing skills as it were. To make something that wasn't just a ho-hum rambling of some faceless guy, in fly-over country. She had blessed me a couple of times with praise in her blog. For which I still am not fully certain I deserved. One simply has to wonder if she did so because we know each other. Our families actually shared a house for about a month up in Alaska (when both she, and the 5/8 were about 7 months pregnant), but that's a story for a different post entirely (and one that I promise I'll get to - eventually).

But, she recently quit took a hiatus from posting. She had a long, informative post about it all. Seems that she just ran out of things to say, or at least, things she wanted to talk about. Maybe she felt like she was getting whiney, or like she was maybe boring people. She wasn't, on both accounts (at least, she did neither in my views), but she made the decision.

Without even realizing it was happening, it seems that my own posts started to dwindle. And you can probably tell, the last couple have pretty much been nothing much at all. A movie thought or two. But looking back, I realized that this started about the same time that Military Mom quit posting on her blog. I think seeing her post so much, actually gave me some sort of motivation to post more myself. Not that it was a contest or anything. But part of it, I think, is that I knew for certain at least someone was reading this, and at least one person was actually enjoying what I wrote (or, at least, went through the trouble to 'claim' to enjoy it).

I've got some things I'm working on now, and hopefully I will soon feel they are ready to post. So I'm certainly going to make an effort to post more frequently. Seriously, I am. I know I've probably said it before, but I really mean it this time. Or maybe I just mean it, but like the 50 new people we see at the gym just after New Year's, it will go good for a while, and then peter out again. And what do I know anyway. Maybe that is like a cycle with people who blog as a passion. Maybe every six or eight or two months, it just gets pushed to the back burner for a while, while the old cranial batteries regenerate, or recharge, or whatever else.

There is a lot coming up. School is about to end for the summer. No. 1 Son was promoted to Corporal in the USMC Jr. ROTC program at his high school. So there should be plenty to write about - at least for the near future.

Movie Thoughts: I Am Legend

When I saw the first commercial for this Will Smith flick, what went through my mind was "this is a remake of 'The Omega Man'". I was right.

In this version, a doctor finds a cure for cancer. But the cure comes with a cost...the destruction of man. The cure causes a virus to be released which mutates man and beast alike into carnivorous, cannibalistic beings with a great hunger for human flesh.

Smith is the doctor that stays behind in an empty New York City trying to find a cure.

Why the writers or producers or whomever didn't just name the remake "The Omega Man" is beyond me. The "I Am Legend" title comes from the book that inspired this movie, along with The Omega Man (with Charlton Heston in the lead) and "Last Man On Earth" (with Vincent Price in the lead).

Some of the scenes in Legend are taken directly out of Omega Man (I've never seen "Last Man On Earth"). Near the opening in Omega, Heston visits a car dealership and drives of in a new Mustang. In the opening credits of Legend, Smith is racing around the empty streets of New York City in a new Mustang, hunting deer and trying to avoid the lions.

And the endings were almost exactly the same. Although I just realized there is an alternate ending on the DVD for Legend which I haven't watched yet (that'll teach me to ignore the special features). Supposedly the alternate ending more closely mirrors the book.

If you're a fan of post-apocalyptic-killer-vampire-like-zombie-creature movies, this is a pretty good one. It isn't scary so much, but maybe that is because I already knew the story. I saw the Omega Man the first time when I was just little kid, watching with my mom. I thought Matthias was creepy as hell. And he was much more intelligent than the protagonist vampire-zombie-creature-thing in Legend.

While I liked Legend, after watching it, I'm ready to watch Omega Man again. Don't get me wrong, I like Will Smith, I think he's a great actor...but he is certainly no Charlton Heston.